Brand new day! (Reflection)
Originally published inJust Femme; Spunky and unabashedly female e-zine.
(Part of 'My Say'; November 2007)
I looked up from my stained pillows, stained with tears which were flowing relentlessly and trying in vain to hold onto my heart which was breaking into a million pieces. My long time maid, nanny and second mother stood close to me, trying so hard to console me putting to test her wealth of experience in men. No, I hadn’t lost something precious or irreplaceable, I had just broken up with my first ever ‘real’ boy friend and the pain was tearing me apart. He was not someone special and we had hardly dated for a month, but just having to let go of something which I thought of as mine was painful and hurting.
On that day, I didn’t think I would survive it and the following days thoughts of undoing the break-up tormented me. But I didn’t go back and in a matter of time, I outgrew the pain and went on to live a fuller life. Fast forward to ten years and the words, “I’m leaving you” is still not any easier, I still feel the emptiness, an inexplicable fear, struggle with heavy breathing and the plummeting into nothingness kind of feeling. I have met so many people, some special and some not so much, and trust me, each time your heart breaks and you never think you will live to get past, you will. We all get through those bad days, heart-wrenching, self-defeating moments to go on and build our lives into something much better. There is always brighter tomorrow awaiting each one of us away from the dreary nights, something we all will eventually wake up to.
I have always found comfort in the saying, “What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.” And I can definitely say that it has been the case with me and I silently pray every time that something doesn’t kill me, because deep down I know that if it doesn’t, then I will survive. I have never known myself to be an optimist as I am a fatalist most of the time, because I firmly believe that if we all live our lives like we are going to die miserably tomorrow, then when we don’t, we will just turn out to be our happier selves. (...Continued)
Continued onJust Femme >>
Click here to read thefull articlein PDF format